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SALT LAKE CITY
- Scientists today announced the completion of a year-long study of members of the LDS Church. Researchers claim results from the
study provide conclusive evidence that Mormons have horns.
"Popular folklore and legends about Mormon 'horns' have been circulating for years," said Reese Urch, a member of the research team
making the
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discovery, "However, nobody has really taken them seriously - until now."
Most Mormons aren't saying much. "I'm waiting to read the actual study," said Thomas Jones,
a member of the church who claims he "doesn't have any horns."
Jones continued, "Critics are always trying to find some way to discredit us. I think you'll see the
whole thing wash over in a
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couple of days."
A pre-release copy of the study was obtained from inside sources by this newspaper. The report
details a long history of Mormon horns.
The earliest accounts of Mormon horns are provided by the journals of Mormon pioneers.
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